Thursday, January 17, 2008

New baby. . .almost

Being a mom is full of trials and tribulations, and if you are also a foster care mom you will have a whole new set of woes to live through.

Today was one of those days. . .

We are already living with our hearts ready to break any day. We know the possibility of our two foster daughters leaving is soon. We really won't know until the day they go or the day we sign adoption papers. Sometimes it is that precarious of a situation when you are dealing with "the system."

Another baby could never replace our little D who has been ours for 10 months. But still, we have agreed to take another baby if there is one who needs our home, all the while hoping and praying that D and J also stay. We have an extra crib and many extra arms around here. Our baby is quite the toddler now, and knowing she might go there is a sense of wanting a little one to need us, keep us busy, and depend on us. I can't get anything done around here and I guess I like it that way! LOL!

So, we got the call today. So soon since I upped my license so we were surprised. I'll tell you now it didn't work out. It was hard to have our day end without our new baby that our hearts had begun to attach to - if only the idea of him. He was six months old. On the way to pick him up we were called that the placement fell through. Could mean many things, but what it meant for us was sadness. We had our hearts set on him, and had already started making plans.

This is one of those times that I tried to look at this from another perspective. God's. He has plans and they are bigger and better than mine. Maybe He needed us ready for another baby that needs us. . . Maybe my family needed to remember that anyone who joins our family or leaves our family is God's child, on loan to us for how long He decides. . .

So we all prayed and agreed we must wait on God's timing.

I hope the phone rings tomorrow. . .


"What seems to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."
Oscar Wilde