"I got you back"

The title of this post comes from one of my favorite movies, Anne of Green Gables. (in the Continuing Story)

Anne is holding up a little baby boy that she had loved and cared for and he then was somewhere else for a while in the hands of another. Anne then is able to find him again and she is able to keep him and raise him as her own.

This movie immediately came to my mind last week when little baby J was returned to me. I won't go into too many gory details, but we have always missed him and it was hard knowing he was in foster care, but not in our home. Well, on Tuesday I had little Frenchie at a doctor visit (sorry I haven't posted on her - an adorable tiny French baby that will be going to live with her aunt as soon as her home is approved. We are happy she can be with family and will miss her. The baby is cute and she knows it. Nuff said)

So, we're at the doctors and I am called and asked if I can take baby J again. I was overjoyed. I never would have said no for his sake either, since I hate to hear of kids moving to new homes. It can really cause severe attachment problems for their whole life.

He is the sweetest baby ever, so affectionate and cuddly, and quite the opposite of adorable French baby! We are happy he's back and he is happy to be here. We haven't heard much on his case, other than his mom isn't doing great, but she is still making visits. J has a vision problem and is still being evaluated to see how serious it is.

I'll try to update again, but I was waiting for someone to finish something and the kids always say I should post again, so here it is.

I don't know how long baby J will be here, but I will always smile and think. . ."I got you back"

~Susan

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller,
home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"
unknown

We Miss Babies

My girls have convinced me it is time to open our home for foster children again. Time to open our hearts to a child who will need love more than a place to sleep, food to eat, and clean clothes to wear.

Brianna and Brooke talk about it all the time.

We were in a store the other day and looking at some item, and I claimed we didn't have anyone in our house that needed it. Brianna says we need to call up and get us a baby. I said okay.

Then I laughed to myself. What a funny conversation if someone were to overhear us.

Here is a funny story from a foster mom talking about her young daughter:

". . .I asked the typical 'do you know where babies come from' question. Without hesitation she replied, 'Of course I do Mom. You just call the case worker!"

For many families, she is exactly right.

~Susan

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
~Ed Howe

The Best Drug Mother in the World

Yes, that is the mother of my foster son. She is wonderful, knows everything, and could teach me a thing or two. Her baby being detained originally was a big mistake for which the judge actually apologized to her for. Then, she was minding her own business, bonding with her new baby son, when she had a relapse. So the baby ended up back in foster care. Yes, this is the second time in five months.

She was such a good mother that she was exclusively nursing her son - except of course when she was attending her classes required by court to get her son back. Yes, she was nursing while doing drugs.

Best drug mommy in the world called me on the phone the weekend her son came to stay. Good thing, since I was a bit lost. But drug mommy to the rescue. She told me how to burp her son. Explained, in detail how to burp him, since apparently he didn't burp like other babies. I was grateful for this information since the baby was getting quite grumpy after two days of not burping. He was even starting to swell.

Well, the best drug mommy also knows the best bottles for her nursing only baby. She is also quite offended if you do not purchase those bottles. It is not like I was stupid enough to show up at the first visit with just any ordinary bottles. I bought the special vent things from Playtex. Wide nipple tops for babies transitioning from nursing. Hey, it wasn't the Platex nursers with the annoying little bags so my name is mud. She actually came out of the visit complaining the little guy was choking from the bottle. I so wanted to say,

"Really? he never chokes at my house. You just must not know how to feed him a bottle." I didn't, but I thought it.

A few days later I had a chance for best drug mommy to really put me in my place. Her son came down with a case of thrush in his mouth. Caused by an overgrowth of yeast and quite common in young babies. But being the good foster mommy I am, I take him to the doctor for medicine. So I told the mom on one of her many calls. She then informed me that he had thrush once before in foster care only - never at her house. And it is cause by dirty bottles and nipples. I was able to casually mention that it was not caused by this and she preceded to argue. I was able to choke out that it wasn't caused by this at my house, but I am not sure my pathetic attempt to save my hide worked. She was sure I caused this case of thrush.

This week we have had the fun of best drug mommy resuming her nursing on her visits. This is after two clean drug tests. The mom has been even more humble about her mothering abilities now.

How do I stand it and why do I allow this to continue? Well, I am learning so much. . .

~Susan

Boy, oh boy. . .

The last two days have been a roller coaster. We were called and asked to take a newborn baby boy and it was most likely going to adoption. I'll cut to the chase. . .today we found out they placed him with another family because they thought we didn't have an approved home study for adoption. It wasn't showing in the computer. This was just a clerical error or lack of communication situation - that cost us the baby.

To make matters worse, the adoption worker - assigned to us - don't know what happened to the last one - called me out of the blue today to say she had our archived study and everything was fine and she just needed to update a few things. She thought we were still adopting D and J. When I told her the news she was so sweet and sounded genuinely empathetic to our situation. I really like her. :-) I am going to call her tomorrow and see if she can put us in the computer as an approved family or if we need to update first. I think we were never added since we were getting a study for a specific child, not to be put on a waiting list.

Then an hour later we find out we lost the baby for lack of a study. I made a call. Explained my case (the baby is still in the hospital at this point) hoping we could get him placed with us. One worker made some calls, but she called back to say the worker who had already done the paperwork for the other family said she wasn't doing it again.

I am sad, and our girls are very very sad. We are all disappointed. I am happy for the other family and I hope they cherish him and raise him in a home where he will see people who love the Lord.

This is who I want them to be: they are a nice married couple - man and wife!, who couldn't ever have children of their own and have dreamed of adopting a newborn from the county because there is no way they could ever afford international adoption and they have a heart for children in our messed up foster care system. And they are Christians who desire to homeschool.

Hey, a person can dream can't she?!

There is a reason this happened. I am praying I grow from it and don't let it make me bitter. I will be going to Target tomorrow to return his car seat. We bought him a new one, even though we really can't afford it. I have a pink one (thank you Jennifer :-), but I really couldn't bear to go pick him up in that.

Wow, I really didn't "cut to the chase," did I? Brevity is not my forte.

I hope there will be good news soon. My parents are both ill with mom in the hospital, my car needs major repairs, and we are almost out of money.

A newborn baby would have been nice. . . :-)

~Susan

"We must accept finite disappointment,
but never lose infinite hope."
Martin Luther King

Now abide in faith, hope and charity, these three.
1 Corinthians 13:13

Our phone rang. . .another baby

I have to tell you, we were all a little disappointed about not getting the baby boy we were called about yesterday. I told everyone we could be called again real soon, so be ready.

Well, about 11:oo am, I was called about a three day old baby girl in the hospital and asked if I would take her. I said, "of course!" My teen girls squealed in delight and actually jumped up and down - I kid you not. The placement worker did mention she was African American and asked if that was alright with us. I said yes as long as her family doesn't mind.

We were all so excited. A brand new baby. We praised God for his great goodness to us, not believing we were called again so soon. The four of us worked like crazy to get things ready. Then, about 3:30 pm we were called and told a grandmother had showed up who wanted the baby. I don't blame her. I just pray she will be as good a caregiver and home for the baby as we could have. And possibly better since it is her own granddaughter.

So for now we are missing baby number two. Well, we are even more ready now. The crib and bassinet are ready. The girls even got the baby swing out.

I am praying we will get a call on Tuesday for another baby. Sadly, babies are detained by CPS for many reasons, but we will love being here to love them when they need it most.

~Susan

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but when the desire comes it is the tree of life.
Provers 13:12

New baby. . .almost

Being a mom is full of trials and tribulations, and if you are also a foster care mom you will have a whole new set of woes to live through.

Today was one of those days. . .

We are already living with our hearts ready to break any day. We know the possibility of our two foster daughters leaving is soon. We really won't know until the day they go or the day we sign adoption papers. Sometimes it is that precarious of a situation when you are dealing with "the system."

Another baby could never replace our little D who has been ours for 10 months. But still, we have agreed to take another baby if there is one who needs our home, all the while hoping and praying that D and J also stay. We have an extra crib and many extra arms around here. Our baby is quite the toddler now, and knowing she might go there is a sense of wanting a little one to need us, keep us busy, and depend on us. I can't get anything done around here and I guess I like it that way! LOL!

So, we got the call today. So soon since I upped my license so we were surprised. I'll tell you now it didn't work out. It was hard to have our day end without our new baby that our hearts had begun to attach to - if only the idea of him. He was six months old. On the way to pick him up we were called that the placement fell through. Could mean many things, but what it meant for us was sadness. We had our hearts set on him, and had already started making plans.

This is one of those times that I tried to look at this from another perspective. God's. He has plans and they are bigger and better than mine. Maybe He needed us ready for another baby that needs us. . . Maybe my family needed to remember that anyone who joins our family or leaves our family is God's child, on loan to us for how long He decides. . .

So we all prayed and agreed we must wait on God's timing.

I hope the phone rings tomorrow. . .

~Susan

"What seems to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."
Oscar Wilde