Adoption! Our Story

Well, to those few who may still follow me after my long hiatus, I definitely want to update you on the latest:

I recently signed adoptions papers! Jaden no longer needs to be "J" - is officially an adoption placement now! It won't be final for about 3 months, but that is nothing compared to the last 2 years!

For those of you wanting to adopt your foster kids, I just wanted to encourage you that it does happen. And not always when you think it will. If I look back over all the children I have fostered (and tried to adopt or wanted to) Jaden would have been the last one I would have ever thought would stay with me!

Jaden came to us at 5 months old, visually impaired was all we knew at the time. Not because anyone mentioned this, but because when he opened his eyes it was obvious. He had both bio parents, two sets of grandparents and aunts and uncles on both sides. I knew he was going. I warned everyone NOT to get attached. Like usual, no one listened to me.

I actually need to go. Sorry. Forgot about Good Friday Service! I will continue the saga later.

~Susan

Vegas is too hot for babies. . .

I did talk to the current foster mom today and it was a little strange. She is a nice Christian lady and I do respect her and her husband, but they are a bit different. . . They are another culture and some of it is due to that. They are also a generation older than I am so that may account for some of our differences of opinions.

She wanted me to forget about them until I went to Vegas at the end of July for my mom's surgery. She doesn't think they should have to go to respite while I am gone so they should just stay with her. (This is the same women who had me watch the boys while she went to Vegas and asked me to watch them in August when she goes on another vacation!)

I mentioned I could take them with me and she thought that sounded way too hard, even though I usually take my foster children with us wherever we go - they are part of our family for as long as the Lord has them with us.

She said Vegas is too hot now. Well, it is too hot now! But we lived there for 8 years and we didn't ship the children off for winters up North!

Her and her husband don't want to adopt them. They are in their early 60s. They just want to keep them in foster care it seems. She wants the newborn since they are very easy for her she says. "They don't go anywhere," she explains.

She also spoke to me about discipline issues. (she is afraid we may have spoiled the boys in the three days they were here)

Mrs. S also complained that the 22 month old will not watch TV. My very normal average children did not watch any TV at that age. I mentioned this. She didn't hear me.

I don't think she wants them, but she doesn't want me to have them either. I was told that there are not families lining up to take siblings of mixed races, and especially 3 under 2. So let's give them a chance please.

Oh, and the grandma is in the picture and may want them so I won't hold my breathe at this point, but I will definitely throw my hat in the ring since the Lord has put them in my heart. I will at the least be praying for the "three babies."

~Susan

Women should not have children after 35.
Really...35 children are enough.
unknown

We're Back. . .!

I know, it wasn't much of a break, but it was nice none the less. ;-)

We aren't completely back, but we did venture back in the shallow end with a respite this weekend. Truthfully, in retrospect, my family is not the best one to do respite, since we tend to fall in love with all the children within two days.

I haven't been over to Brooke or Brianna's blog yet, but I could probably save us all some time and tell you to go hear about our weekend on their page! But, I guess I shall give you a bit.

I was asked about a respite situation (a foster family needing babysitting overnight or more) and decided to help. It was a 10 month old (he is 11 months we found out when searching for a birth date on this very big 10 month old :-) who has asthma. Apparently, there are not a lot of homes available that have space to watch a baby that also can or will watch a child with asthma.

All three of my kids have asthma, and started as babies - so this situation didn't phase me. I also have asthma. The crazy part of the whole thing was the nurse involved. Yes, doing her job - but still. . . She wanted me to come in for a training session on how to give a nebulizer treatment and notice signs of respiratory distress.

I explained to the social worker that I was experienced. . .blah, blah, blah, and that is why I volunteered. I also "legally" can do the repsite, since I have taken special medical needs training. The SW said I still had to go - that the nurse insisted to cover their "tushes." (not the word she used, but the one I grew up using. ;-)

Come the time for training, maybe the nurse was busy because she ended up talking to me on the phone for 5 minutes and calling it good. That was fine with me. Hey, I will admit if I was over my head, but this was my area of expertise.

So, enough about me - you wanted to hear about the boys! They were very sweet babies and we all miss them, of course. After a year and a half of foster care, they were the best sleepers I have ever taken care of. Two naps a day, and sleeping through the night! For that reason alone I am considering adoption, LOL!

Seriously, they are apparently, possibly, with all probability (you like that) going to be available for adoption. Along with a sibling due in August. It isn't for sure. There is a grandma who sounds very iffy at best, but the county often gives children to blood relative as long as they are breathing. Sad, but true.

If they were in my home as foster kids there would be no hesitation in saying we would adopt. Because we would be in love. After three days, I love them, but I am not in love enough to say I will adopt three at once. At once! Hey, I have done three children before, but they didn't all come at once!

If I could have them moved here so we could fall in love, that would be my choice, but I don't see them moving them just because I would like to get to know them better. It makes sense, but the county doesn't do things that make sense.

The mother has a very serious case of bi-polar so the foster parents advised about that mentioning it is hereditary. I can't say that would stop me as it is very treatable usually, not always passed down, and we don't get to choose with our own biological children so I can't see "turning down" a child because of this. I know many others would disagree.

I also think this isn't the right time for us. But we will wait on the Lord and His timing. I have already been heartbroken thinking I knew best the child I was supposed to adopt. I have also become okay with not adopting at all. Okay is a strong word here. "Accepting of the fact," is more truthful.

Anyway, I think I have to pray about them. I was going to leave it at that, but knowing me, I have a feeling that I will probably call the social worker to ask for more info. Oh, if you are reading this you can go ahead and say "what?!" I have heard it before.

Keep in mind that if this looks like it will work out, it won't, so I am probably safe. :-)

~Susan

Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Luke 12:32