Thursday, July 31, 2008

Three Babies

Three babies at once are not in my future. I am fine with it. Shocking, I know. I guess when you know it isn't even something that you feel the Lord would encourage you to do at this point in your life, it is okay to say no.

Firstly, it probably never would have happened anyway, which certainly makes it easier. I spoke to the social worker involved, and though he was excited to have us as a "contingency plan," it didn't sound like it was more than a 50/50 chance. There is a grandma who wants them and I think if she is capable of taking care of them and wants them she should have them. She may or may not get them, but I certainly am not going to get in the way.

It is funny because she is definitely not the blood grandma of one of the boys - mother is white, and her son is white, baby boy is half black - she is claiming him and pretends not to notice.

I like that.

The county worker would have moved the boys and new baby due soon to my house, the contingency placement (in other words - back up plan in case their plan falls through). Most likely a heartache. I talked to Neil about it, and for various good reasons, he said no.

I am glad he did.

It is weird how sometimes you think you want something, and then when you don't get it you realize that was the blessing.


"When we lose one blessing,
another one is often most unexpectedly given in its place."

C.S. Lewis

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Cleanliness is next to . . . Foster Care?

We have fallen into a pattern at my house. Things get a little out of hand, and then the social worker comes for her visit and inspection and we clean like crazy, put things away, and transform the whole house in the two hours before she arrives.

So when we have no foster children you can imagine we let things go a bit. I am not talking disgusting or anything, but well lived in chaos is not an understatement.

Truthfully, I like it better when we are forced to make an impression. A clean and orderly house is nice if you can get it. :-)

Today I conquered the garage. Brianna helped a bit, but then moved inside where it was safer. I only had one almost catastrophe. Since Neil doesn't read my blog I can tell you. He brings in this little wood thingy and mentions that it goes to his Chinese Junk ship that his grandma gave him when he was a little boy. He wanted to know if I knew where it was. After 45 years he had a hankering to put it together. (I guess there is hope for the new drapery rod in our bedroom?)

Guess what? I had seen it. I thought to myself, "this looks like junk," not knowing that it was actually called a "Chinese Junk" and I threw it in the black garbage bag when Neil wasn't looking. I retrieved it promptly. Don't tell on me.

I really don't think the garage toxins being locked up will make me a better foster parent or my house any safer, but it is a little easier to get around in the garage. If you need an excuse to clean up your garage after 20 years, and be a blessing to a child in need at the same time, become a foster parent!


Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Absense Makes the Heart Grow Fonder. . .

At least in the case of the baby boys it does. We only had them for 3 days, and they have been gone over one week. Still, we miss them, and knowing the possibility of their return - has made us miss them more.

It is because now we have thought of what "could be" and we have pictured them in our lives, and seen them in our house. So each passing day is a little sad.

An answer is all I want now. I don't want to see them in my life if it isn't going to happen. Foster Care Adoption is different for most people than going out and searching for a child to adopt. It is different than looking for a child who you want to add to your family.

In foster care, the child comes looking for you. And when they do you want to say, "yeah, you found me!"


"Adoption is not about finding children for families,
it's about finding families for children."

Joyce Maguire Pavao

Vegas is too hot for babies. . .

I did talk to the current foster mom today and it was a little strange. She is a nice Christian lady and I do respect her and her husband, but they are a bit different. . . They are another culture and some of it is due to that. They are also a generation older than I am so that may account for some of our differences of opinions.

She wanted me to forget about them until I went to Vegas at the end of July for my mom's surgery. She doesn't think they should have to go to respite while I am gone so they should just stay with her. (This is the same women who had me watch the boys while she went to Vegas and asked me to watch them in August when she goes on another vacation!)

I mentioned I could take them with me and she thought that sounded way too hard, even though I usually take my foster children with us wherever we go - they are part of our family for as long as the Lord has them with us.

She said Vegas is too hot now. Well, it is too hot now! But we lived there for 8 years and we didn't ship the children off for winters up North!

Her and her husband don't want to adopt them. They are in their early 60s. They just want to keep them in foster care it seems. She wants the newborn since they are very easy for her she says. "They don't go anywhere," she explains.

She also spoke to me about discipline issues. (she is afraid we may have spoiled the boys in the three days they were here)

Mrs. S also complained that the 22 month old will not watch TV. My very normal average children did not watch any TV at that age. I mentioned this. She didn't hear me.

I don't think she wants them, but she doesn't want me to have them either. I was told that there are not families lining up to take siblings of mixed races, and especially 3 under 2. So let's give them a chance please.

Oh, and the grandma is in the picture and may want them so I won't hold my breathe at this point, but I will definitely throw my hat in the ring since the Lord has put them in my heart. I will at the least be praying for the "three babies."


Women should not have children after 35.
Really...35 children are enough.