Monday, January 21, 2008

I Miss Someone. . .

Missing their family is probably a common feeling for almost all children in foster care. Studies and experiences show that even abused children miss living with their family - wanting to go back to moms who may have beat them, abused them, or severely neglected them.

This is sometimes hard for us to understand. How can a five year old cry for a family member that neglected them so severely that they arrived in foster care malnourished with their teeth so decayed that almost all are fillings or had to be pulled? We want to run with the child to the hills, and not even attend court required visits, feeling that the parent may not deserve to see the child. I know that is the way I feel at times.

But the child may feel differently. That is the only family they have ever known. And now they are with strangers. No matter how much we care for them and love them, foster kids will often times want to return home. Sometimes "the system" has to step in to protect them and they may not ever return home. Other times the parents are sadly never able to or never want to be parents again.

I pray that if my five year old can't return to her family that she will learn to call us family. I don't just mean call me mommy. She does that on her own, wanting to belong and be like her sister who is a baby and has always called me mommy. I mean think of us as family if we adopt her. Her new family, but forever hers.

Families are not only born. Sometimes they are made - one day at a time.


There are no unwanted children, just unfound families.
The National Adoption Center