The Foster Mom and Her Phone

I have become quite sensitive to my phone these days. The phone can be a messenger of blessings, or a bearer a devastating news. To any family, but doing foster care takes this up a bit.

I am acutely aware of the silence of my phone, and how long it hasn't rung. And when it does ring, emotions are on high. Is it a baby? Will they actually come to live with us? Will they stay forever? If the caller ID says it is our agency, you could almost hear a pin drop, as the family waits to hear if they called us with a child. And if it is a child, you will hear a squeal out of my teen girls that would make you think they just were given their first car. Brandon, will not squeal on the outside, but I bet if you could listen on the inside you'd hear one ever so lightly.

What happens if I leave the house, or go to the bathroom, or heaven forbid, decide to take a shower mid day? My girls must drill me on if I have my cell phone.

1. Is it on?

2. Is it charged?

3. Is the ringer on?

4. And will I hold it and not keep it in my purse so that I am sure to hear it ring?

The shower? Leave the door open so we can bring you the phone!

When the phone rings, if it is not about a child, there is disappointment, and then anger that we weren't called. And if we later are called back to be told it didn't work out for some reason - which happens quite frequently - well, then, it is good you are not here to see us. I am afraid we don't always act unselfishly. I am trying, and trying to teach my kids at the same time. But it is hard. We love babies and young children and feel that the Lord has really called us into this life.

So bring on the orphans! Okay, that sounded a bit silly, but we feel that way sometimes. We have two empty cribs now, and too many memories of D sleeping (and crying :-) in them. We need some new memories. We need to be busy. Oh, we are busy people for sure, but I mean busy with something that matters.

Well, I need to go and spend some time with the kids I do have, for the Lord has blessed me beyond what any mother deserves. I am ashamed sometimes for wanting more.

~Susan

Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
But let patience have its perfect work,
that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
James 1:3-4