Friday, August 8, 2008

D Update

Staying in D's life has been such a blessing - so far - because most bio mom's do not want the foster mom around after they get their children back. I understand why they feel that way. Who wants a constant reminder of when you were thought to be an unfit parent? And I wouldn't want the woman around who had raised my children. Especially if the child stilled called the other woman mommy.

Thankfully D's mom does not feel the same way. She has let our family have D about every other weekend for the past few months since the kids were returned home. She says she has hurt D enough and doesn't want to cause her more pain by cutting off her relationship with us. (although, the mom still professes innocence. . .) I know the mom enjoys the free babysitting, but I truthfully don't care why she let's us see D; just that she does. D thinks we are her family and we really are. Blood does not make a family.

The mom looks like a hooker all of the sudden. She had on tons of makeup last time we say her. I mean a crazy amount, and all glossy and thick. She is on the hunt again.

Since leaving, D's hair has been chopped almost to the scalp by a crazy uncle who I don't trust. But DCFS seems to be fine with him so who am I to judge??

Now the mom said we could have D on Thursday and on the way there she called me and said she was on the freeway on the way to Los angeles, and that she had just been picked up. Then acted surprised that we were on our way to get D. Why the call? I'm not sure.

I am a bit worried. And no, I don't think this mother is going to just surrender her child to me out of the goodness of her heart. I am not naive. Still, I will stay involved and watch out for D and all her siblings. And if the mom ever drops the ball we will be there to pick it up. In the mean time, we are blessed to have our D fixes when we can get them. When foster kids leave they do take a piece of you with them forever, but D owns all our hearts.


While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt


quilted family said...

I am so glad you continue to have contact with D. We also still have contact with Dancing Baby Girl, she is with us this weekend after a long 3 week break. Sometimes it is so harda nd just rips at my slowly healing heart again, but mostly it is good for her and us and her birthmom.

We had DBG from 9 months of age until after her third birthday and at 2.5 years we were being asked to adopt her when boom someone changed the case plan and she was reunited.

It hurts to love so much and lose so much but I wouldn't want to not have had her and loved her.

Good luck with any new placements.