Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Favorite goodbye quote

I noticed I didn't leave a quote or Bible verse on my last post, and to be consistent I will do it now.

I thought it needed a goodbye quote and figured it would be pretty depressing finding one, but here it is:

"Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened."

Dr. Seuss

I love this quote, although it isn't deep enough or meaningful enough for our situation, a quote never is. It simply is a thought that makes you think. . .

During this trial of our girls leaving our home to return home to their bio mom, I have tried to remember that for their family this is seen as a blessing. For D and J it may be a good thing if their mom steps up to the plate and becomes their parent. There is a part of a child who always wants their "real" mom. J loves us and cries to stay, but still wants to go to her "real" mom too. She wants us both. Sadly, Kids don't just need a mom, but need a parent (or two :-). It may turn into a disaster and we pray D and J will not be hurt.

Yes, we are hurting - bad. But do we wish we had never taken in little D and then her sister? Not on your life! It is worth it all to have them for a year of time and hopefully in our lives forever.

The risk of a child leaving is not a good enough reason for me not to love them. Only God knows how long we will have anyone in our lives. He gave us a time with our girls and I am thankful.

So when strangers and friends say they couldn't possibly do this and how can we handle this, and all the other comments we will get for months, I could go into a big lengthy discussion - and probably will at times. :-)

But for now I am happy to have found this quote. It is a simple thought and says a lot.


"Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened."

Dr. Seuss


The Tacheny's said...

That is really beautiful. We are in the process of taking classes to become foster parents so we can Foster-Adopt. This is a reality of doing what we are going to do. Thanks for being transparent about the pain and the gratefulness of getting to do it.
Take care, Kim

BAHolland said...

Hi, I read your post. I am a social worker for CPS. I just wanted to let you know that I think what you're doing is extremely commendable. You and your family are amazing and the system needs more people like you. Also, for anyone else who is reading this blog, thinking of becoming a foster parent, or already is a foster parent, I have some words of advice for you. If you're getting into it, get into it for the right reasons. Foster children have had it hard, very hard, and in many cases have been bounced from home to home, with foster parents who turned them away after they made mistakes, displayed problem behaviors, and had temper tantrums. Remember, these children are in the system because they have had extremely hard lives, they've been turned away numerous times. Sometimes, they will be a pain just to see how far they can push you, just to see how much it will take before you send them away like their bio parents did, like the last foster home did. You have to be there for the long haul, show them UNCONDITIONAL love, and understand that it's not you they're lashing out at, it is the life that was handed to them, the life that they did not choose, but that they live everyday. Stick with it, understand their needs, and provide them with the care and comfort they may have never experienced before. Watching a child break a vicious cycle and suceed in life will be the most rewarding thing you will ever do in life, that I promise you, and a bond will be created in the process that is unbreakable if you treat them as if you had given birth to them. You will have touched their hearts and impacted their futures. Keep up the good work. And thank you for what you do. -B. Holland