Three Babies

Three babies at once are not in my future. I am fine with it. Shocking, I know. I guess when you know it isn't even something that you feel the Lord would encourage you to do at this point in your life, it is okay to say no.

Firstly, it probably never would have happened anyway, which certainly makes it easier. I spoke to the social worker involved, and though he was excited to have us as a "contingency plan," it didn't sound like it was more than a 50/50 chance. There is a grandma who wants them and I think if she is capable of taking care of them and wants them she should have them. She may or may not get them, but I certainly am not going to get in the way.

It is funny because she is definitely not the blood grandma of one of the boys - mother is white, and her son is white, baby boy is half black - she is claiming him and pretends not to notice.

I like that.

The county worker would have moved the boys and new baby due soon to my house, the contingency placement (in other words - back up plan in case their plan falls through). Most likely a heartache. I talked to Neil about it, and for various good reasons, he said no.

I am glad he did.

It is weird how sometimes you think you want something, and then when you don't get it you realize that was the blessing.

~Susan

"When we lose one blessing,
another one is often most unexpectedly given in its place."
C.S. Lewis

Cleanliness is next to . . . Foster Care?

We have fallen into a pattern at my house. Things get a little out of hand, and then the social worker comes for her visit and inspection and we clean like crazy, put things away, and transform the whole house in the two hours before she arrives.

So when we have no foster children you can imagine we let things go a bit. I am not talking disgusting or anything, but well lived in chaos is not an understatement.

Truthfully, I like it better when we are forced to make an impression. A clean and orderly house is nice if you can get it. :-)

Today I conquered the garage. Brianna helped a bit, but then moved inside where it was safer. I only had one almost catastrophe. Since Neil doesn't read my blog I can tell you. He brings in this little wood thingy and mentions that it goes to his Chinese Junk ship that his grandma gave him when he was a little boy. He wanted to know if I knew where it was. After 45 years he had a hankering to put it together. (I guess there is hope for the new drapery rod in our bedroom?)

Guess what? I had seen it. I thought to myself, "this looks like junk," not knowing that it was actually called a "Chinese Junk" and I threw it in the black garbage bag when Neil wasn't looking. I retrieved it promptly. Don't tell on me.

I really don't think the garage toxins being locked up will make me a better foster parent or my house any safer, but it is a little easier to get around in the garage. If you need an excuse to clean up your garage after 20 years, and be a blessing to a child in need at the same time, become a foster parent!

~Susan

Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10

Absense Makes the Heart Grow Fonder. . .

At least in the case of the baby boys it does. We only had them for 3 days, and they have been gone over one week. Still, we miss them, and knowing the possibility of their return - has made us miss them more.

It is because now we have thought of what "could be" and we have pictured them in our lives, and seen them in our house. So each passing day is a little sad.

An answer is all I want now. I don't want to see them in my life if it isn't going to happen. Foster Care Adoption is different for most people than going out and searching for a child to adopt. It is different than looking for a child who you want to add to your family.

In foster care, the child comes looking for you. And when they do you want to say, "yeah, you found me!"

~Susan

"Adoption is not about finding children for families,
it's about finding families for children."
Joyce Maguire Pavao

Vegas is too hot for babies. . .

I did talk to the current foster mom today and it was a little strange. She is a nice Christian lady and I do respect her and her husband, but they are a bit different. . . They are another culture and some of it is due to that. They are also a generation older than I am so that may account for some of our differences of opinions.

She wanted me to forget about them until I went to Vegas at the end of July for my mom's surgery. She doesn't think they should have to go to respite while I am gone so they should just stay with her. (This is the same women who had me watch the boys while she went to Vegas and asked me to watch them in August when she goes on another vacation!)

I mentioned I could take them with me and she thought that sounded way too hard, even though I usually take my foster children with us wherever we go - they are part of our family for as long as the Lord has them with us.

She said Vegas is too hot now. Well, it is too hot now! But we lived there for 8 years and we didn't ship the children off for winters up North!

Her and her husband don't want to adopt them. They are in their early 60s. They just want to keep them in foster care it seems. She wants the newborn since they are very easy for her she says. "They don't go anywhere," she explains.

She also spoke to me about discipline issues. (she is afraid we may have spoiled the boys in the three days they were here)

Mrs. S also complained that the 22 month old will not watch TV. My very normal average children did not watch any TV at that age. I mentioned this. She didn't hear me.

I don't think she wants them, but she doesn't want me to have them either. I was told that there are not families lining up to take siblings of mixed races, and especially 3 under 2. So let's give them a chance please.

Oh, and the grandma is in the picture and may want them so I won't hold my breathe at this point, but I will definitely throw my hat in the ring since the Lord has put them in my heart. I will at the least be praying for the "three babies."

~Susan

Women should not have children after 35.
Really...35 children are enough.
unknown

Three Babies

Well, here we are again, waiting for a social worker to call.

I did make the phone call like you knew I would. My social worker laughed at me. Thought it was hysterical that we "fell" so quickly for the boys. Then she told me that she just found out there was a new sibling due in the next two months and she was sure I could get out of that one if I tried, and convince the county to just give me the boys.

What?! "Get out of that one!" Is she nuts? I told her no, I want the new baby too. There was a pause and some more nervous laughter. She is starting to get it. She doesn't have children yet and can't imagine why I would agree to take three when I already have three.

Sounds a little crazy, true. But I am not as young as I used to be. Who is? I don't have time to collect three siblings one at a time like I did the first time around. I have go to speed things up!

So, I don't know much yet. The boy's social worker is supposed to call this week. We feel unsure still and are so nervous that our hearts will be broken after we got our hopes up. I was told by the our social worker that she thought it was a done deal; the county worker was so thrilled to hear of a family who may take three siblings at one that he could hardly contain himself. And it wouldn't be at once. The new baby isn't due until August. Please pray for the baby's safety and the mother's. She is apparently on the streets and it sounds like there is probably no prenatal care happening.

I'll update as soon as I hear something.

I hate to talk about it sometimes, for fear this will all go away - but luckily I don't have that kind of power. ;-)

~Susan

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12

We're Back. . .!

I know, it wasn't much of a break, but it was nice none the less. ;-)

We aren't completely back, but we did venture back in the shallow end with a respite this weekend. Truthfully, in retrospect, my family is not the best one to do respite, since we tend to fall in love with all the children within two days.

I haven't been over to Brooke or Brianna's blog yet, but I could probably save us all some time and tell you to go hear about our weekend on their page! But, I guess I shall give you a bit.

I was asked about a respite situation (a foster family needing babysitting overnight or more) and decided to help. It was a 10 month old (he is 11 months we found out when searching for a birth date on this very big 10 month old :-) who has asthma. Apparently, there are not a lot of homes available that have space to watch a baby that also can or will watch a child with asthma.

All three of my kids have asthma, and started as babies - so this situation didn't phase me. I also have asthma. The crazy part of the whole thing was the nurse involved. Yes, doing her job - but still. . . She wanted me to come in for a training session on how to give a nebulizer treatment and notice signs of respiratory distress.

I explained to the social worker that I was experienced. . .blah, blah, blah, and that is why I volunteered. I also "legally" can do the repsite, since I have taken special medical needs training. The SW said I still had to go - that the nurse insisted to cover their "tushes." (not the word she used, but the one I grew up using. ;-)

Come the time for training, maybe the nurse was busy because she ended up talking to me on the phone for 5 minutes and calling it good. That was fine with me. Hey, I will admit if I was over my head, but this was my area of expertise.

So, enough about me - you wanted to hear about the boys! They were very sweet babies and we all miss them, of course. After a year and a half of foster care, they were the best sleepers I have ever taken care of. Two naps a day, and sleeping through the night! For that reason alone I am considering adoption, LOL!

Seriously, they are apparently, possibly, with all probability (you like that) going to be available for adoption. Along with a sibling due in August. It isn't for sure. There is a grandma who sounds very iffy at best, but the county often gives children to blood relative as long as they are breathing. Sad, but true.

If they were in my home as foster kids there would be no hesitation in saying we would adopt. Because we would be in love. After three days, I love them, but I am not in love enough to say I will adopt three at once. At once! Hey, I have done three children before, but they didn't all come at once!

If I could have them moved here so we could fall in love, that would be my choice, but I don't see them moving them just because I would like to get to know them better. It makes sense, but the county doesn't do things that make sense.

The mother has a very serious case of bi-polar so the foster parents advised about that mentioning it is hereditary. I can't say that would stop me as it is very treatable usually, not always passed down, and we don't get to choose with our own biological children so I can't see "turning down" a child because of this. I know many others would disagree.

I also think this isn't the right time for us. But we will wait on the Lord and His timing. I have already been heartbroken thinking I knew best the child I was supposed to adopt. I have also become okay with not adopting at all. Okay is a strong word here. "Accepting of the fact," is more truthful.

Anyway, I think I have to pray about them. I was going to leave it at that, but knowing me, I have a feeling that I will probably call the social worker to ask for more info. Oh, if you are reading this you can go ahead and say "what?!" I have heard it before.

Keep in mind that if this looks like it will work out, it won't, so I am probably safe. :-)

~Susan

Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Luke 12:32

Foster Care Break

Hello to my readers. Wanted to let you know that my family needs to take a break from foster care for a bit. We have a lot going on right now and can't devote ourselves to the children. It is sad and quiet around here!

If you are new here, read the archived posts before you go.

Ny'Asia, our seven year old, was adopted by her Aunt in Tennessee and we are still in touch every few days. ;-) We are so happy for her to have a wonderful family to go home with. Most foster kids are not so blessed. Her Aunt is very nice and we also talk with her for updates on Ny'Asia.

Our baby J is in a new home and doing great. It was hard to say goodbye, but he was so lovable and cute we knew he would be wanted by many families. I spoke to his social worker today and he is doing well. We had him in respite care while we went to Vegas to see family, and he has stayed. We have the option of getting him back and boy it was hard to say no!

D, our first foster baby to join our family, will be in our hearts forever and hopefully our lives. As of now, we still see her about every other weekend. It is hard because we love her and miss her so much, but I can't complain (much) since most foster families do not get to stay in touch.

I hope to be doing foster care in the near future and if I am you will read about it right here! :-)

Good bye for now,
Susan