Adoption! Our Story

Well, to those few who may still follow me after my long hiatus, I definitely want to update you on the latest:

I recently signed adoptions papers! Jaden no longer needs to be "J" - is officially an adoption placement now! It won't be final for about 3 months, but that is nothing compared to the last 2 years!

For those of you wanting to adopt your foster kids, I just wanted to encourage you that it does happen. And not always when you think it will. If I look back over all the children I have fostered (and tried to adopt or wanted to) Jaden would have been the last one I would have ever thought would stay with me!

Jaden came to us at 5 months old, visually impaired was all we knew at the time. Not because anyone mentioned this, but because when he opened his eyes it was obvious. He had both bio parents, two sets of grandparents and aunts and uncles on both sides. I knew he was going. I warned everyone NOT to get attached. Like usual, no one listened to me.

I actually need to go. Sorry. Forgot about Good Friday Service! I will continue the saga later.

~Susan

Absense Makes the Heart Grow Fonder. . .

At least in the case of the baby boys it does. We only had them for 3 days, and they have been gone over one week. Still, we miss them, and knowing the possibility of their return - has made us miss them more.

It is because now we have thought of what "could be" and we have pictured them in our lives, and seen them in our house. So each passing day is a little sad.

An answer is all I want now. I don't want to see them in my life if it isn't going to happen. Foster Care Adoption is different for most people than going out and searching for a child to adopt. It is different than looking for a child who you want to add to your family.

In foster care, the child comes looking for you. And when they do you want to say, "yeah, you found me!"

~Susan

"Adoption is not about finding children for families,
it's about finding families for children."
Joyce Maguire Pavao

Three Babies

Well, here we are again, waiting for a social worker to call.

I did make the phone call like you knew I would. My social worker laughed at me. Thought it was hysterical that we "fell" so quickly for the boys. Then she told me that she just found out there was a new sibling due in the next two months and she was sure I could get out of that one if I tried, and convince the county to just give me the boys.

What?! "Get out of that one!" Is she nuts? I told her no, I want the new baby too. There was a pause and some more nervous laughter. She is starting to get it. She doesn't have children yet and can't imagine why I would agree to take three when I already have three.

Sounds a little crazy, true. But I am not as young as I used to be. Who is? I don't have time to collect three siblings one at a time like I did the first time around. I have go to speed things up!

So, I don't know much yet. The boy's social worker is supposed to call this week. We feel unsure still and are so nervous that our hearts will be broken after we got our hopes up. I was told by the our social worker that she thought it was a done deal; the county worker was so thrilled to hear of a family who may take three siblings at one that he could hardly contain himself. And it wouldn't be at once. The new baby isn't due until August. Please pray for the baby's safety and the mother's. She is apparently on the streets and it sounds like there is probably no prenatal care happening.

I'll update as soon as I hear something.

I hate to talk about it sometimes, for fear this will all go away - but luckily I don't have that kind of power. ;-)

~Susan

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12

We're Back. . .!

I know, it wasn't much of a break, but it was nice none the less. ;-)

We aren't completely back, but we did venture back in the shallow end with a respite this weekend. Truthfully, in retrospect, my family is not the best one to do respite, since we tend to fall in love with all the children within two days.

I haven't been over to Brooke or Brianna's blog yet, but I could probably save us all some time and tell you to go hear about our weekend on their page! But, I guess I shall give you a bit.

I was asked about a respite situation (a foster family needing babysitting overnight or more) and decided to help. It was a 10 month old (he is 11 months we found out when searching for a birth date on this very big 10 month old :-) who has asthma. Apparently, there are not a lot of homes available that have space to watch a baby that also can or will watch a child with asthma.

All three of my kids have asthma, and started as babies - so this situation didn't phase me. I also have asthma. The crazy part of the whole thing was the nurse involved. Yes, doing her job - but still. . . She wanted me to come in for a training session on how to give a nebulizer treatment and notice signs of respiratory distress.

I explained to the social worker that I was experienced. . .blah, blah, blah, and that is why I volunteered. I also "legally" can do the repsite, since I have taken special medical needs training. The SW said I still had to go - that the nurse insisted to cover their "tushes." (not the word she used, but the one I grew up using. ;-)

Come the time for training, maybe the nurse was busy because she ended up talking to me on the phone for 5 minutes and calling it good. That was fine with me. Hey, I will admit if I was over my head, but this was my area of expertise.

So, enough about me - you wanted to hear about the boys! They were very sweet babies and we all miss them, of course. After a year and a half of foster care, they were the best sleepers I have ever taken care of. Two naps a day, and sleeping through the night! For that reason alone I am considering adoption, LOL!

Seriously, they are apparently, possibly, with all probability (you like that) going to be available for adoption. Along with a sibling due in August. It isn't for sure. There is a grandma who sounds very iffy at best, but the county often gives children to blood relative as long as they are breathing. Sad, but true.

If they were in my home as foster kids there would be no hesitation in saying we would adopt. Because we would be in love. After three days, I love them, but I am not in love enough to say I will adopt three at once. At once! Hey, I have done three children before, but they didn't all come at once!

If I could have them moved here so we could fall in love, that would be my choice, but I don't see them moving them just because I would like to get to know them better. It makes sense, but the county doesn't do things that make sense.

The mother has a very serious case of bi-polar so the foster parents advised about that mentioning it is hereditary. I can't say that would stop me as it is very treatable usually, not always passed down, and we don't get to choose with our own biological children so I can't see "turning down" a child because of this. I know many others would disagree.

I also think this isn't the right time for us. But we will wait on the Lord and His timing. I have already been heartbroken thinking I knew best the child I was supposed to adopt. I have also become okay with not adopting at all. Okay is a strong word here. "Accepting of the fact," is more truthful.

Anyway, I think I have to pray about them. I was going to leave it at that, but knowing me, I have a feeling that I will probably call the social worker to ask for more info. Oh, if you are reading this you can go ahead and say "what?!" I have heard it before.

Keep in mind that if this looks like it will work out, it won't, so I am probably safe. :-)

~Susan

Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Luke 12:32

A Nice Adoption Story

I went out last night with a few other homeschool moms. It is a once a month thing that has started to be kinda regular for a few of us. I used to have a support meeting at my house, but these less formal outings are nice and I can have a piece of my favorite French Apple Pie. Shush, don't tell the kids. :-) I'm sure they think I just have a cup of coffee. Truth is, I don't even have coffee. These moms are all the healthy types and I don't want to shock them by drinking coffee at 8:00 pm!

Anyways, I met a new lady whose name has escaped me. I think it may be Shirley?? No one who knows the answer can read this blog and tell me since I haven't fessed up and told anyone about this blog. Strange that I feel okay for a stranger to read this, but it feels strange to tell people I know. . .

My new friend mentioned that she was adopted from foster care as a baby. She shared that her parents didn't tell her she was adopted. Yes, I know you are probably outraged, but we really shouldn't judge them too harshly, as times were different then.

When she found out as an adult, her father answered that he had forgotten. We all found that very sweet. There was a little more to the story of course, but I feel regardless of details, her dad probably had forgotten over the years.

It wasn't an issue to him how his daughter came to him, just that she did.

~Susan

Adoption is when a child grew in its mommy's heart instead of her tummy.
~unknown

Babies on Doorsteps

I have always loved being a mom. Just felt like it was what I was born to do. I was able to have three children. I almost said I was "only" able to have three children, but I know I feel that would sound insensitive to those who weren't able to have any.

I never really complained to my husband about not being able to have more children, other than occasionally casually mentioning that I would have had more if I could have. He would then say something like, "three is good."

When our kids were younger sometimes they would ask why we didn't have more kids, and I would say that God only gave me three, but they were His three best. I was telling them the truth. You should meet my kids :-)

I did bring the subject of adoption up to my husband and he wasn't against the idea, but he didn't want to pursue finding a child. He said if God wants us to have another baby He will make it clear somehow.

I said, "God doesn't drop babies on doorsteps."

He said, "He could."

I laughed.

A few weeks later a good friend had a baby dropped on her doorstep. A while later the mother also dropped off her two other babies. I told my friend thanks a lot, now Neil will say, "see I told you God could drop babies on doorsteps."

My friend's family raised the three children for about two years. it wasn't easy on them because they already had eight of their own.

But I guess you don't say no when God drops a baby on your doorstep.

~Susan

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible,
but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26